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Life Preserver
| I'm teaching my dogs this trick.... |
| I feel this way when my twins puppies wake up from their naps..... |
| "The breeze in the garden is the wagging of his tail....." "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." ~Groucho Marx "The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him, and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too." ~Samuel Butler "One reason the dog has so many friends: he wags his tail instead of his tongue" ~Unknown "Here, Gentlemen, a dog teaches us a lesson in humanity" ~Napoleon Bonaparte "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." ~Mark Twain "Some days you're the dog and some days you're the hydrant" ~Unknown "Never trust a dog to watch your food" ~Patrick, age 10 "Heaven goes by favour. If it went my merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in" ~Mark Twain "Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow." ~Jeff Valdez "Dogs come when they're called. Cats take a message and get back to you later" ~Mary Bly "A dog is the soul of a philosopher" ~Plato "To a dog, the whole world is a smell" ~Unknown "Dogs are not our whole lives, but they make our lives whole" ~Roger Caras "If you think a dog can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in our pocket and then giving Fido only two of them" ~Phil Pastoret "My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dogs think I already am" `Unknown "If you are a dog and your owner suggest that you wear a sweater....suggest that he wears a tail" `Fran Lebowitz "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face" ~Bern Williams "Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job" ~Franklin Jones "Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened" ~Unknown "Dear Dogs" The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of one of my plates does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I can fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry for this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure you comfort. Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It ins not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If for some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine bark, try to turn the know or get your paw under the edge and try and pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years---dog attendance is not required. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot stress that enough!!!!! |
| My Dog My dogs sleep about 20 hours a day. Meals and housing are provided at not cost to them. They visit the doctor once a year for their checkups, and again if any medical needs arise. For this they pay nothing, and nothing is required of them. They live in a nice neighborhood in houses that are much larger than they need, but they are not required to do any upkeep. If they make a mess, someone else cleans it up. They have their choices of luxurious places to sleep. They receive these accommodations absolutely free. They are living like kings and queens and have absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of their costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all of this, and suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks......Holy s#!t.......my dogs are Democrats! |
| SKYLAND MALAMUTES |
| If I didn't have any dogs....... I could walk around the yard barefoot in safety. My house could be carpeted instead of tiled or wood floors. All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture and cars would be free of hair. When the doorbell rings, I could get to the door without wading through furry bodies who beat me there. I could sit on the couch or bed the way I wanted, with out taking into consideration how much space several fur bodies would need to get comfortable. I would have money, and no guilt to go on a real vacation. I would not be on first name basis with 4 veterinarians as I put their yet unborn grandkids through college. The most used words in my vocabulary would not be: out, sit, down, come, no, stay, leave it alone and get out of my flowerbed. I would not talk "baby talk" to anyone other than my grandkids. My house would not look like a day care center, with toys everywhere. I would no longer have to spell the words B-A-L-L, T-R-E-A-T, C-O-O-K-I-E. I would not have as many leaves INSIDE my house as outside. I would not look strangely at people who think having ONE dog ties them down too much. I'd look forward to spring and the rainy season instead of the dreaded "mud" season. I would not have to answer the question, "Why do you have so many dogs?" from people who will never have the joy in their lives of knowing they are loved unconditionally by someone as close to an angel as they will ever get. How EMPTY my life would be......... |